Friday, April 27, 2012

Autism and Love?

Hello Lacquer Luvers! Today I have a thought provoking post for you all. I had posted my contest in a nail group on facebook recently and it started a controversial issue. One of the ladies in the group mentioned that her son has Autism, too, and that she was happy I was raising awareness so that our kids' kids could have the possibility of not inheriting Autism. Another girl made a comment basically saying that an Autistic person should not reproduce because the unfortunate "truth" is that it can be genetically passed on to the child. Hmmmm.....

I thought about this without making a comment because, well, everyone is entitled to their opinion. However, I will voice how I feel about this subject here. Is Autism inherited genetically? Well, scientists aren't really sure and this is the reason I am bringing awareness to this disorder that has such a broad spectrum. As of right now, scientific research points to two possible factors that lead to Autism: genetics and environment. The probability of a sibling developing Autism is around 4%. Brothers of an Autistic child have an increased rate at 7%.

Having said that, I'm still left with the question: should Autistic people reproduce? Because the spectrum is so broad I think it requires alot of thought to answer this question. My son's disability is developmental and verbal. However, I DO see him being a productive member of society in his future. The statement that was made was very discriminatory to me. It was like saying blind or deaf people shouldn't reproduce because of their disabilities. Is that fair? I think not.


I began my manicure with a base of Essie Grow Faster. I used two coats of Jordana White for my accent finger. The rest of my nails were water marbled with Bettina Vintage, Peppermint, & Over Dyed. I used a sponge and Vintage at the tip of my ring finger & used Over Dyed to stamp on the images of the boy and girl, which was on Cheeky plate CH29, & the hearts which were on Cheeky plate CH15.

The images I chose to use on my accent finger were meant to symbolize that everybody deserves to be loved & find love no matter what their disability is. And should they decide to reproduce and have children that should be a decision made by them, not society.

L-R Peppermint, Vintage, & Over Dyed

I really would love to hear what you all think of this subject. I am sure some of you may not share my opinion on it. I do ask that you remain respectful in your comments, however. I created this to spark some thought into my readers and to get some feedback from you. Let me know what you think below. As always, I hope you all liked this post my dear Lacquer Luvers and I look forward to sharing my next post with you, xo!

~Jessica

24 comments:

  1. Excellent mani and an excellent question.. I think that was a horrible thing for her to say.. Theres still no actual proof that it is genetic.. I know the government is trying really hard to cover up the fact that many cases of autism are directly caused by vaccines. They've given millions of dollars in settlements to families who've been victims of these bad vaccines and they rarely mention it in the mainstream media.

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    1. Funny you mention vaccines being a probable cause as I was JUST reading up on this. Thank you so very much for taking the time to read my post. I know it was long, but I feel that it was something that needed to be said.

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    2. But why would the government WANT to "create" autists? Vaccines have saved countless lives and autism is not fatal. Austists are people and autism has existed even before vaccines. We have to remember that other people's children matter, too, and not vaccinating puts babies at risk. Please measure both arguments carefully, there are lives at risk. Thank you!

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    3. I just wanted to clarify my previous statement. I don't think the govt is doing it 'intentionally', only that they're keeping it from the public eye as much as possible.. there have been studies done that show that the mercury they use in making vaccines, given in high doses, like 5 or 7 at once. can cause infants to have seizures which lead to autism in most cases.. i agree vaccines are necessary. i have a 1 year old and i make sure she gets all her shots, tho i don't really have a choice if i want her to go to school. i just limit the amount she gets, if the dr. says she needs 6 i have her only give her 3 and come back a couple weeks later for the rest. her dr. completely understands my reason for doing this and has never told me it wasn't necessary.. i figure if she agrees then there must be something to it. i do completely agree with you tho Nat. Thanks.

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  2. First - I think your current mani is AMAZING! I LOVE your stamped finger and your water marble is perfect!

    As for the question - I am usually known for quite extremist ideas about life and people, but on this specific issue I am only extremely mad.
    Why shouldn't Autistic people reproduce? Each and every one of us has a chance of having a damaged kid. Weather its our food and our water and the dirty air that we breath and the cellular radiation all around us and all the medicine our food is being fed with and so on and so on.

    This being said, I believed that everyone has the general right to reproduce.

    The question is not weather they should have the right to or not, but do they have the ability to be parents. And if you are talking about a person who has the help they need and who understands the difficulties and actually is able to deal with them - they should be parents.

    And personally, I believe that parents who abuse their kid or treat them as bad as we can hear at times, are much much worse then someone with a certain, maybe genetic disability.

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    1. My sentiments exactly Jin! You cannot predict what disorders or perfections your children come to Earth with. There are so many factors that lead to disabilities. I whole-heartedly agree with what you said about abusive and neglectful parents being worse than those with disabilities. I am so happy that I have readers/friends who understand where I was coming from on this issue. <3

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    2. Exactly right Jin! your comment reminded me of the movie I am Sam, excellent movie and a true story.. if they can be good parents then why shouldn't they.

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  3. As you may know by now, being a personal friend of mine, I tend to verge on over-sharing at times and don't tend to bite my tongue on issues I feel passionately about. That being said, I am appalled and outraged that someone could be so narrow-minded. Making a comment like "autistic people should not reproduce" is opening a tremendous Pandora's box. How far does she want to take that argument? Many "disabilities", "disorders", what have you, be they physical, developmental or mental may or may not be genetically passed on. I suffer from clinical depression. My husband is bi-polar. Should we not reproduce because our child may or may not inherit a mental illness? I'm trying to keep my emotions in check but honestly, statements like that just break my heart.

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    1. I was feeling the exact same way for a week. I am happy that I took the time to think and create this post as it was really my only way to vent about this subject and to engage others on it. I really think that if we all took the time to do the research before making such a statement and calling it an "unfortunate truth" the world would be a much better place. Knowledge is power and thinking comes from not knowing. Thanks Kari! <3 xoxo

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  4. My friend LEFT That group over that, I nearly did too...I was upset for two days over it. I can't imagine how much my friend was upset because she was the one who made the first comment you mentioned, that the other person tagged their cold hearted comments onto. I feel bad because I think she joined the group because of me too. It was VERY discriminatory of that person to say what they did. THANK YOU for this manicure, it's beautiful. I don't think people with autism get a fair shake in this world from people laying all levels of discrimination on them and it's just plain COLD what that person said. I hope you weren't too upset. But the lady you mentioned in the post, the one who made the comment first, LEFT the group....For her (the cold person) to say 'I completely understand how you feel' like she later did made me foam at the mouth, because if she really DID understand she'd never have said something so outrageous to begin with.

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    1. I am..*sigh*..I am really sad right now. It makes me upset that your friend left the group because of this but I completely understand. I haven't been in there until today to re-read the thread before creating this post. As mothers of Autistic children it is our responsibility to protect and even OVER-protect our kids. Often times, we are their voice. Her views on the situation seriously angered me which is why I chose not to comment on what she said. It was really hard for me to do that, too. Please let your friend know that I am thinking of her and I thank her for being the one to stand up for our kids. <3

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    2. I did my best to stand up for our kids in my ONE post addressing what she said where I said I agreed with my friend. I just reread the thread, I am sad too. I actually cried about this and cried HARD. It makes me really sad to think that this level of discrimination still exists. I know what you mean it was VERY hard for me to NOT bite her head off about it and say 'publically' how my friend LEFT the group and why. I even showed it to my son's father and he told me to just NOT say anything else. Just to leave it alone, with me crying enraged, but I think he was right. This is much better, I knew my friend and I were NOT alone in feeling slapped by those comments. I can't tell you how much your post comforted me. I WILL share it with my friend, I am sure seeing it and the comments here will make her feel better. It made me feel better. :)

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    3. Just wanted to follow up, my friend doesn't have an account she can use to post here, but she really appreciated your kind words here, and it made her feel a lot better. She wanted to thank you and share that her son placed first in the race he ran yesterday! She and her hubby are very proud of him and she wanted to share that with you. :)

      Thanks again for this wonderful post and incredibly moving manicure. :)

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  5. I know very little about autism so I don't feel like I can speak with any degree of intelligence on the subject. I do, however, know many people with disabling conditions that make the world a better place to live in. And, this mani is beyond fabulous. When I finish my current challenges, I am totally going to recreate it. Minus the water marbling because I gave up after my third attempt at it. :)

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    1. You are absolutely correct Sue! There are many people with disabling conditions that make this world amazing and even challenge us to be better people. I would love to see your recreation! Don't give up on marbling. It took me a good 10 times until I got something decent out of it ;)

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  6. So precious! I love the little couple! Everyone deserves the best out of life no matter what! Whatever makes them happy! You are an awsome mom!

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  7. This mani is my fave so far--it's fantastic. As we get older there are many questions we have and things we ponder. I lost a sister to triple negative breast cancer at the young age of 44 after suffering for 8 years. She was passed the BRCA1 mutation by most likely my mother through her mother--I've often wondered if my parents knew then they might conceive a child who would die long before them if they would have still taken that risk. Despite the heartache I suffer daily I believe I wouldn't give up those years with her and hopefully she feels the same. To think the world would be better off with some people seems cruel.

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  8. Gorgeous manicure. I actually watched a BBC documentary about autism last night which was really moving.

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  9. i'm not going to comment on the statement / dilemma but i just wanted to say that for a manicure, i've actually found this one quite emotional. There's something about that accent nail that is pure love and all-embracing, and that's the best comment of all xxx

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  10. Beautiful mani. The accent nail is so sweet and lovely. I see no problem with Autistic people reproducing and the person who made that comment was probably speaking out of ignorance. It's difficult to ignore people like that when they say something that hits close to home, but try not to let stupid people bring you down. I wish all the best for your son.

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  11. I cannot believe someone would make such an ignorant comment! I'll get too angry and ranty if I respond directly but needless to say I do not agree with people who make such a-hole remarks.

    I love yr mani, it is beautiful and so is your gorgeous son :)

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  12. That's a pretty crappy thing for someone to say. I wonder if she's ever known anyone with autism. If she did, she'd realize it's not so black and white. There are different levels of functioning and the possible genetic component aside (because it's so uncertain), there are plenty of people with autism who would make great, loving parents.

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